So my new friend Neil from UK, sent me my very own bear, I got him today via email, his name is going to be Jack I think. Here’s a picture of the two of us at the beach in cape cod. Thanks Neil!! You’re the best.
So I updated my Photo Web Album today… Check it out.
So today I finally got my etsy shop together http://dashaina.esty.com listed a few items. Hopefully something sells, we’ll see. The bags are soooo cute, and I love making them now that I have the hang of it. The quilt is almost finished, I just have to call my grma to walk me through putting the binding on it! I have a picture up on my web album, it really turned out very lovely. I think J will love it. J has a bunch of You Tube videos up now, regarding the dome, and robot building stuff and a bunch of other things. You can go see them if you’d like, just go to http://youtube.com and type in jmemantzel in the search option it will pull up all of his videos. My new laptop should be hear by Tuesday… I finally broke down and bought the eee pc. I’m really excited!! Trying to sell the desktop on ebay, we’ll see. So Cape Cod is beautiful, we’ve been going out to the beach every afternoon when J is finished working. I posted some pix online in my web album http://picasaweb.google.com/dashaina if you go there you can see all my photos and crafts. Okay more to come later…
So J and I have been in Cape Cod for the last week, and what a creative week its been. I decided to try and sell my craftiness finally. I created a handbag and two pillowcases (one is a wedding present). I am in the middle of working on a quilt I am giving to J for his birthday May 3rd. Also, I’m going to be getting a new computer soon hopefully. Well that’s all for now.
So Valentine’s Day was last weekend, WOW! I flew out to DC to attend my brother Greg’s wedding. It was so pretty and intimate. The chapel was beautiful, all of the little bride’s maids looked amazing, and my littlest neice Harmony was so precious as the flower girl. So now Greg has 8 kids (instead of 5) he’s responsible for with his new wife Sherry. They are all so amazing though, and Sherry is amazing and her Sister and their kids, everyone was just really fun and happy and it was an amazing weekend. I got to hang out with all the kids, and my sister Kim and her new bf. I am so glad I was able to go out their this weekend, to think I almost didn’t make it! Wow that would’ve been awful. So I made a bunch of new friends in my new family and can’t wait to get to know them all. J and I will be stopping in to visit them on our spring progress to VT. I can’t wait, I miss them all already, I really didn’t want the weekend to end. But kinda glad it did, so I can get my finances back into shape, yikes!!
I wonder sometimes how people change themselves, I mean really change themselves. How do we become these complex individuals, with all these seemingly complex issues? Life is really only as complicated as we make it. I think for the longest time I was looking for someone to spend my life with as a partner, when all I really need right now is best friend. I found that person, but its so hard to seperate the need to be involved with them in other ways. I get dissalusioned into thinking that it could be more than what we have. I don’t think I can really be with anyone until I have learned to be happy with myself, and become less selfish and more positive with my life. At work, I am happy and helpful and cheerful to the point that I think it drives some of my coworkers a little crazy, but how do I carry that over into my non working life. I have passions, at least I think I do. I just can’t think of what any are. I’m so focused on paying off these loans, and not owing money to people. I get so overwhelmed with wondering what to do with my life, then I get sidetracked and end up doing nothing. Who am I really? What is it that I love to do? How can I combine those things to make a living and be happy? I am going to try to answer these questions over the next year. I’ve come a long way from that sad little girl I was, and still to some extent am. Maybe eventually it will all make sense.
So a funny thing happened to me today… my bestfriend informed me of the simple truth… I am a codependant… Well I guess I should explain… I have a tendency to lean on people I come to care about… I depend on them for certain things… opinions, attention, support, love… but I guess he is right in a sense I shouldn’t do that, I should just go back to being independent… which for me is much safer in the long run anyway… I just guess I was trying to include someone in my life more than they really wanted to be included.. I wonder if that really is a bad thing?